Wednesday, December 1, 2010

New England

I had made it back to the states just in time for Thanksgiving.  I arranged to join my friend Susan for the holiday at her brother and sister-in-law's in West Lebanon.  I was especially thankful to be in the company of vegetarians - and a terribly sweet dog named Chewie.

The days keep getting colder and I finally hit my first snow.  ...and I really mean first.  Up until I was looking up at the flurry in the sky and the Vermont and New Hampshire border, snow was always a noun and never a verb.  My friends described me as looking like a kid, and I know I felt like one.

I felt very taken care of and repeatedly enjoyed the flavors of Thanksgiving, maple syrup, and mulled wine.  We went to a Budweiser brewery in Vermont to look at the Clydesdales.  Inspecting options for a "mix-and-match six-pack:" Budweiser, Michelob, Natural Light, Busch, and Rolling Rock, I didn't realize just how many beers I didn't really care for lived in the same house.  Anheuser-Busch distributes for Stella Artois as well, and after learning this, a friend asked me, "is it bad that this makes me like it less?"

I've been in Boston for a few days now, but I've done and seen very little.  It's not the weather that's keeping me inside; I've become paralyzed with anxiety.  Most pressingly, I'm selling my car before I go to New York.  The emotional impact of this only hit me minutes ago.  I parked with the tank empty, knowing I'll be filling it once more - perhaps just a third tank or so.  Before stepping out, I studied the lines and textures of the steering wheel and the dashboard - the foreground to many of the beautiful and important things I've experienced in the last six years.  The combined logistics of trying to get a fair price for my car in such a brief amount of time, the management, transportation, and storage of all my stuff, and the steadfastly approaching thunderstorm of responsibility and adult decisions have been keeping me awfully tense.  The fibers of my arms and legs feel as if they are especially thin and quivering.  At this point I was hoping to be narrowing down candidates for new homes, and while I've been enchanted so many times over, nothing so far seems to ring of opportunity.

Never getting any closer to solutions, I've resolved to stop being such a sulky bitch for just a few more weeks and just enjoy whatever Boston and New York have for me.

No comments: